Today is the 6th of November...

...And some mormon dumbass decided it was a good idea to plaster the internet (especially Facebook) with testimonkeys. I haven't seen any yet, but I fully expect to...and I have a response prepared.

Now those (few) of you who are regular and informed readers will know that sometime this summer I got sick and tired of all the endless 'mormonisms' on Facebook. It might have been right after this very blog started getting visits from morgbots hoping to reconvert me. (We can all take a moment to laugh at that memory now. Done? Okay, just a little more...) And anyone who pays attention to both my blog and my Facebook page (a tall order, I know) by now has realized that I am no longer making an effort to refrain from calling them on their stupid bullshit.

So in the spirit of continuing that tradition, I have prepared a statement to be written in the event my family decides to plaster Facebook with their testimonies today.

I would like to bear my UNtestimony, that I know the mormon church is NOT true. I know that Joseph Smith was NOT a prophet of god, but rather an 18th Century conman who often couldn't even keep his stories straight. I know the Book of Mormon is NOT true; in fact it may be the LEAST historically-accurate book in existence, and has been altered so many times that if a modern mormon were presented with an original copy they would denounce it as false doctrine.

I know that the current leaders of the mormon church are NOT inspired of god, as evidenced by Packer's homophobic statements recently made from the pulpit that--horrendous bigotry aside for the moment--were still GROSSLY inaccurate.

I know that the "sacred-not-secret" temple ceremonies were stolen from the Freemasons, and that they have periodically been altered in an attempt to water down their creepiness. I also know that if investigators were actually told about all the crazy stuff that happens during the initiatory and endowment that the mormon church's conversion numbers would drop considerably more than they already have.

Finally, I know that "12 million" people CAN be wrong...and in fact that number itself IS wrong. The truth of the matter is that according to recent surveys there are nearly twice as many Atheists/Agnostics in this country as mormons. Just food for thought.

This is the 'untestimony' that I have prepared for the event. Feel free to copy and paste it if you're feeling as frustrated as I am:)

And finally, some advice for whoever decided that this was a good idea in the first place: